Hi!!! Welcome to Shoppers!!

So, you all know my disdain for grocery shopping, and today, I'll give you reason #363 why I need my own personal grocer.

I had to get 3 times for dinner tonight: honey, a lime, and red pepper flakes. I got out of my car at 5:00p and was in the express check-out line at 5:08. GREAT TIME! For once, I'll be visiting the grocery store (in PG county) without having a story to tell. Wrong.

As I approached the register, I noticed the pungent aroma of marijuana (doesn't matter how I know). I thought to myself "Wow, someone took 'Happy Hour' to another level", but I minded my business. As the person in front of the person in front of me (still with me?) left, I expected the chick in front of me to move up beyond the belt. She didn't. She stood there leaning over the belt to where I couldn't put my items on the belt. When he gave her the total, she looked up and was like "I'm sorry, can you take her first? I just can't" and slumped over the belt. The teenage cashier looked at me like WTF? And the nice person in me asked "Are you okay?" She said "I just feel like I'm gonna faint. I can't do it. Is there somewhere I can sit down?" So the cashier, in typical poor customer service fashion, sighed and pointed to a bench. She was like "I can't make it" So he comes around the register and looks at me and mouths "What do I do?"

*blankstare*

What part of my wallet in my hand and me putting items on the belt made him feel like he should direct that question to me...I dunno, but I grabbed one of her arms and he grabbed the other and we proceeded to walk her to the bench (which was like 5 aisles over and hidden by a display). Everyone is looking at us like WTF? And security stood at the door and watched. He didn't budge, didn't look concerned, didn't look like he was processing what his role should be in the situation, he just watched the show. We got about 2 steps from the bench and chick's knees buckled. Did I mention the chick had ME by about 20-30lbs?

*press pause*

I was in nursing school, and one of the things they teach you in your lecture and clinical courses is that there is a RIGHT way to let a "patient" fall. I knew exactly how to let someone slide down your leg to avoid injury to both yourself and your patient, but never in nursing school did they teach me how to let someone fall while holding a purse, a wallet, and red pepper flakes. Never.

*press play*

So I did what most people would do. I let go. I mean, I wasn't going down WITH her. She got herself up and on the bench and only then did security make his way over. Meanwhile, I and the cashier walk back over to the not-so-express lane. As he started ringing my items, he looks at me like it was his first time meeting me and says..."Hi, Welcome to Shoppers!"


Why come I can never have an uneventful shopping trip?

There's a thin line, between love and hate...for facebook.

I'm lightweight addicted to facebook. I think I mentioned that before. And while I love it dearly for several reasons. I also despise it with a passion. Facebook is evil, lol. It makes people do, think and say things that one would not normally do, think or say. A lot of times, the website is glitchy, and when it does work...they are constantly updating it into the "new" facebook, which usually takes away functionality and throws everyone for a loop. Facebook is kind of like America to me. There is a BUNCH of isht wrong with it, and sometimes you just gotta get away for a while, but when it all boils down to it, it's where I call home.

Some of the things that draw me back to FB so much is the fact that I can catch up with friends/family all in one little homepage. I can load pictures from family/friendly funtions and share them without having to go through the hassle of emailing folks one by one. You can keep in touch with folks from across the street or across the world and it's all good. Love it. But from time to time, I have to take a little break. I wanted to take a minute to blog about the things that annoy me most about FB.

1). Friend suggestions. Half the time I don't even know the people that FB is suggesting I befriend. Or maybe it's someone that shares a mutual friend with I that I just don't care to interact with. At any rate...it's annoying. Let me find my own friends. If that wasn't enough, they also push you to "help make FB better for them" or "Share the latest news" to people you haven't "talked" to lately. Huh? Stop it.

2). People who post stuff on FB and then get mad when you mention it. "Who told you that?" Chick, you posted it on Facebook! I'm not stalking you! Folks need to realize that within their little circle of friends on FB, unless you have restrictive privacy settings, what you share is public information...up for anyone to see and comment on. If you don't want it talked about, don't talk about it. Or you ask a guy that you're dating what they meant by something and they get all up in their feelings "Why you all on my page like that?" What?

3). Folks that take every one of your status messages and want to apply it to them somehow and get offended. *sigh* If you KNOW me, you know that if you've done something to piss me off to the point where I have to publicly vent about it...you'll know it. I pretty much say exactly what I'm thinking and my friends never have to wonder where they stand with me. You won't have to go to my FB status to find out that I'm annoyed with you. I probably wasn't even thinking about you when I said it. *sings* "You're so vain..."

4). Fakery. If you're on my friends list, then I'm cool with you. The moment I am no longer cool with you, you're no longer on my friends list. Period. I understand why people utilize privacy lists for personal or professional reasons, but it's just not for me. And if you feel like you feel some kinda way about me that you gotta block me from your status messages, pictures, wall or whatever...please just de-friend me. I promise I won't be offended. I'm the same way with everyone I meet, so I don't need to have groups of friends on FB. That's just how it works best with me, but I do realize everything ain't for everyone. *kanyeshrug*

5). People that assume that you see every post and every status message they make. You will be talking about something and be like "wait, what? When did that happen?" And they say "Well I posted it on Facebook." Are you serious right now? Like, why would you assume that I see everything you post? Why would you use a Facebook status (only) to make an important announcement? Likewise, if I post something on my page/status and it's in direct conflict with something you said...why would you assume I'm referencing your post and trying to "battle" you? LMAO That's asinine!! OMG people kill me!!!

6). People not realizing that Facebook is an online community and in no way a substitute for REAL interaction and REAL communication with your friends and loved ones. *Liking* my pics or status does not equate meaningful quality time.

7. The airing of dirty laundry and/or fighting on FB. *sigh* Do better.

8. Hearing about important, life-altering things...on Facebook. I had to "get with" someone about telling me that a loved one was very sick...via inbox mass message. Huh? You have my phone number, you have my email address, how you gonna mass message your friends list and tell people about a family crisis via facebook? It's just...wrong.

Everyday on FB I see something that makes me roll my eyes, yet I keep going back. SMH It is what it is.

He loves me...especially...different.

Best Love song about the GREATEST love ever. Enjoy



Bet you thought I was talking about Jilly from Philly, right? :)

My Funny Valentine...

...no really, he was friggin' hilarious. *straight face here*

So I had a very interesting weekend. I wasn't really interested in going out or making a big deal out of Valentine's day. I never am. Maybe because most V-Days in the past have pretty much sucked, so I don't even get excited anymore. Anyway, I wasn't feeling well and then the whole...being on a "dating hiatus" thing, lol. Since I'd made the decision to just not date anyone for a while, exes seem to be coming out of the woodwork to want to hang. Or just calling to "see how I'm doing". Whatever. I'd actually had a weak moment where I thought I wanted to meet someone and actually pursued something, but that didn't pan out, so back to the hiatus I go.

Anyway, back to this weekeend...I was asked out twice, and to both guys I said I wasn't interested in doing anything. To which one of them said "Well you just gonna be sitting at home anyway." How do YOU know what I'm going to be doing? So you figure that if YOU don't take me out, NOBODY will? Dude, gtfooh. You don't know what I'm doing when I'm not with you! Don't feel like you have to "do me a favor" and take me out. Fast forward to Sunday and I get a call from Mr. Navy. Mr. Navy and I met online back in the summer and dated for a few but he was just on some games. I cut things off back in November (which is when my hiatus started). We speak periodically on FB or text, but we just aren't the same anymore. He said he'd been thinking about me and that he's been wanting to ask me out but thought I'd give him the cold shoulder. *giggles* He said "Well I figure you wouldn't turn me down on V-Day" I laughed 1) because I felt that that comment ALSO came from a place of "well you're not doing anything anyway" and 2) because he knows me oh so well. Most days I do give him the cold shoulder, lol. Anyway, since he invited me to my favorite brunch spot, I decided to go.

I told him I'd meet him there instead of being picked up. We had some good convo and we talked about where we “went wrong”. Very enlightening. He said he misses me and hopes we can start over, at least as friends and try to communicate better. The thing is, he isn’t (in my opinion) admitting what he did wrong. He’s just kind of like “yeah, things fell off…but let’s start over.” I can’t really get with that. I mean, the first step is admittance, right? So if you hurt my feelings, were dishonest, playing the field and lying about it…shouldn’t you at least say “Look…I know I did you wrong, I know I was playing games, but let’s start over.” Or is that too much to ask? Seems to me you want to move on without acknowledging your part in WHY things fell off. I’m not asking for details. I’m just asking for acknowledgement because if we WERE to move forward and isht fell off again, well then it’s really my fault for not making sure the situation was resolved, right? *shrugs* Whatever. It was a free meal, and you know big girls like free food, lol.

We ended up leaving there and going to Best Buy and then taking in a movie. It was a nice date, and I enjoyed myself. He called me later that evening and said that he enjoyed himself too and that he’s sure I “made a lot of people jealous today”. Hmm? Apparently, as he explained, his legion (my words, not his) of women friends were wondering why he got ghost (his words, not mine). He cloaked this in a compliment...
"I had to take my Jewel (my middle name and what he calls me) out because YOU deserve it. I have a lot a female friends and I'm sure they would have loved to go out, but you are number one." Sooooo, since he bestowed his attention on me on the Hallmark Holiday, I should feel privileged that you chose ME to spend the day with vs. any of the other chicks? Uh…thanks???? Why do you feel the need to sell it to yourself (because you clearly aren’t selling it to me) that other people want you?

*scratches head* These dudes kill me thinking they are the end-all, be-all and the only source of happiness.

*walks away muttering*

10 Things I hate about your driving...

So we're still experiencing the "Blizzard of 2010", as they've coined it on the news. I ventured out yesterday to go to the office to get some documents and do payroll and almost killed my car. Literally. One of my headlights was hanging out when I got where I was going. WTF? The roads are horrible. At any rate, since I was out in the mania, I wanted to share some of my BIGGEST driver pet peeves.

1. Clean off the top of your damn car. Yes, YOU. I don't really care if you drive a truck, I don't really care if you're short, and no...I don't care if you were in a rush. It all boils down to being lazy and selfish. So you want to endanger MY life because you are in a hurry and didn't get up on time? You want to hamper MY ability to see because you didn't invest in a step-ladder but drive a Hummer? So I need to be subjected to big blocks of ice and snow hitting my windshield or hurling towards me at 65 miles per hour (since I never, EVER go over the posted speed limit *halo*)? I cry bullisht. I wish they would ticket these selfish bamas when they see them. UGHH, nothing infuriates me more.

2. Why do you sit with your blinker on and wait 20 minutes for a parking space? I parked further away yes, but I'm already in the store with a buggy and you're still sitting there with your blinker on. You suck.

3. Ever want to know exactly how long a split-second is? It's the time between the light turning green and the person behind you honking. You impatient so-n-so. Can I get MY foot off the brake? Can I look both ways first? Do you see the pedestrian walking in front of my car? WTH are you honking at me? Do you realize that makes me want to put my car in park and sit there...just to annoy you? Ugh.

4. I really like when you bob and weave and speed off into traffic and then we end up at the same traffic light. That smile that I give you, you aren't quite sure what it means, lemme explain it. That's my "You are such an idiot, good luck with your gas consumption" smile. Why are you gunning it in the city anyway? You've never heard of "stop and go" traffic? That means you're not on the highway genius. Get it together.

5. I'm not an aggressive driver, but what I CAN'T stand is a bully. I don't care if you ride out the merge lane, if there are no cars behind me and I think you're trying to muscle your way in front of me...10 times out of 9 I won't let you in. Sue me. It gives me pleasure. *shrug* You should have merged like the rest of us. Your dumb@ss would rather ride the shoulder and MAKE somebody let you over? Good luck with that.

6. Don't block the box. I was stopped at a light close to a fire station and I was the last car in front of the "box". Some jerk decided to pull up into the box and then honk so that we would all inch up close to each other so they wouldn't be in the box. Are you serious? No. I'm not moving. Unless a fire siren goes off, you're going to sit there. And I'm going to pray for a cop to come by and ticket you. You dork. So because YOU pulled up farther than you should have, you want me to tailgate the car in front of me? No.

7. Why don't you pull up to the first pump at the gas station? Do you think you're the only person in the universe that needs to get gas? So now I gotta do all kinds of 3-point turns and parallel parking and crap just to maneuver into an open pump because YOU are inconsiderate. You are probably the same person who is...


8. Smoking at the pump. *sigh* Just because you have a death wish and don't think life is worth living, why do you feel the need to endanger us all? You have a lit cigarette and are talking on the phone while pumping your gas at the second pump. I wish I could legally mollywop you.

9. You can't park. Those little white or yellow lines in the parking lot are not for decoration. They aren't suggested guidelines. If one or more of your wheels are on/over the lines...you need to pull out and start over. I'm a big girl, I don't want to have to do the snake to get into my car because you parked too close to me. Thanks.

10. If you're so close to me that I look in my rearview and can't see what kind of car you're driving...back the truck up!!!!

Eargasm Vol. 2

I LOVE Adele. There is this quiet confidence about her, and I love her soulful, raspy voice. I also love that she's a curvy chick and she embraces it. I know it's hard in "real" life for plus-sized women, and in the entertainment industry, the pressure is probably increased exponentially.

Many, many artists have remade this song, but her version of this classic song is my favorite EVER. I believe one day I sat and listened to this song about 15 times in a row. I've been there before, so sure about loving someone and wanting to somehow make them FEEL it. Yeah. Anyway, enjoy!



Lyrics:

When the rain is blowing in your face,
And the whole world is on your case,
I could offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love.

When the evening shadows and the stars appear,
And there is no one there to dry your tears,
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love.

I know you haven't made your mind up yet,
But I would never do you wrong.
I've known it from the moment that we met,
No doubt in my mind where you belong.

I'd go hungry; I'd go black and blue,
I'd go crawling down the avenue.
No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love.

The storms are raging on the rolling sea
And on the highway of regret.
Though winds of change are throwing wild and free,
You ain't seen nothing like me yet.

I could make you happy, make your dreams come true.
Nothing that I wouldn't do.
Go to the ends of the Earth for you,
To make you feel my love

Eargasm Vol. 1

So Corinne Bailey Rae is my friend...in my head. She just seems like she would be someone that would be so cool to be around and just sit back and shoot the breeze. She seems like a sweet soul. When her husband died, I felt so bad for her, like I should call and check on her, or send a card, lol. I'm glad to see she's back on the scene, here is one of my favorite songs from her. Enjoy.



Lyrics:

I know what I said
Was heat of the moment
But there's a little truth in between the words we've spoken
Its a little late now to fix a heart that's broken
Please don't ask me where I'm going
Cause I don't know
No I don't know...anymore

It used to feel like heaven
Used to feel like May
I used to hear those violins playing heart strings like a symphony
Now they've gone away
Nobody wants to face the truth
But you wont believe what love can do
Till it happens to you
Till it happens to you

Went to the old flat
Guess I was trying to turn the clock back
But how come that nothing feels the same now when I'm with you
We used to stay up all night in the kitchen
When our love was new
Oooh love am I a fool to believe in you?
Cause I don't know
No I don't know
Anymore

It used to feel like heaven
It used to feel like May
I used to hear those violins playing heart strings like a symphony
Now they've gone away
Nobody wants to face the truth
Until their hearts broken
Don't you dare tell them
What you think to do
Till they get over
You can only learn these things
From experience
When you get older
I just wish that someone would have told me

Till it happens to you
Till it happens to you
Till it happens to you