Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Random Acts of Mediocrity, Volume 2

Dear Blondie,

Why is it that you ask me like once a month how to check your voicemail? You have been here for about...4 months now, shouldn't you know this by now? The last time you asked me, the convo went like this:

Me: Take at look at the Cheat Sheet I gave you when you started.
Blondie: *goes in office, then comes back to my office* What's my password?
Me: *blankstare* Umm...did you change it from the default?
Her: No, because nobody ever calls and leaves me a message
Me: Umm, ok. How do you know? Is the red light blinking on your phone?
Her: Yeah, but that's always on

*pause for PJ throwing a tantrum*

Today you ask me "Do you remember my password?"
Me: *sigh* No. Did you change it from the default?
Her: No.
Me: Then try 999, then your extension, then #
Her: What's my extension?

I nearly blew a gasket. I realize you don't ever call yourself. I realize that most people who call for you call your company cell phone or call the operator and get tranferred, but HOW IN THE HAYLE do you work somewhere for almost FOUR MONTHS and not know your extension?

OMG!!!!!! *faint* You can't even be serious! If you ask me ONE. MORE. TIME. about your dayum voicemail, voicemail password, extension, or anything else that I've ALREADY TOLD YOU, I'm writing you up. I ain't even joking. I'm FAserious.

Friday, June 18, 2010

Beanie Man

I "met" beanie man on my lunch break. Yup, not to be confused with Beenie "Girls Dem Sugar" Man, this was Beanie Man. As in the dude driving a car with beanie babies and other random stuffed animals lining this rear window, front dash and hanging from the rear view mirror.

As I made the left turn, he was in opposing traffing and proceeded to honk his horn and whistle out the window and scream "Ayy Ayyy Aye MAMA!!!" *blankstare* For real? That's what's hot in the streets? You hollering at women in your Grandmama's Corolla? I vote No. Try your holla once you take the Beanie Bucket back. SMH

Where dey do that at? Even if he was driving a "normal" car, what did he expect to come of that situation? Was I supposed to be so impressed by his whistling skills and be compelled to pull over and wait for him to bust a U-turn to come talk to me? For real? We are endangering our lives for a holla now? We are in MOVING traffic, all you're doing by honking and whistling at me, is distracting me. What if I scare easily? Good gracious, sometimes I wonder how Earth got so populated, some folks are just clueless.

You Sir, are an idiot.