Saturday, October 30, 2010

You can find me...

over at

I've started a new blog, and TWSS will continue on over there!! :)

See ya!

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Countdown to 30. Volume 2-3

Yeah, so I'm already 30. (GO ME!!!!) My birthday was this past Monday and I was far too busy celebrating this weekend and this week to finish posting my random list. Nah, I'm just joking. I haven't been doing much of anything, but relaxing this week. I had a bit of computer trouble for a few days, but I digress.

Without further delay, more random thoughts:

11). I'm an email service provider snob. I had the same yahoo account from like 1993 until about 3-4 years ago. I LOVED my yahoo account, until I found gmail. Gmail trips sometimes, but it's like...perfect, lol. Every once in a while I get a resume from someone with a hotmail or account and I admit that I turn my nose up a bit, lol. Even yahoo makes me roll my eyes a bit. Gmail is where it's at. :P

12). I've started to notice that 8 times out of 10, if someone cuts me off or does something idiotic in traffic AND they have any NFL paraphernalia on their car...they are a Dallas fan. LOL Dallas fans are so effing cocky. I find myself muttering "Damn Cowboy fans" at least once a week. YES, I realize this is a hugemongous generalization...but it's my blog so...

13). I have HORRIBLE luck with Comcast technicians. (Blog post to follow later.)

14). My father didn't get me a card for my birthday on Monday. I was quite disappointed. I mean, I wasn't expecting a gift, but I thought that he would have at least thought enough about it to give me a card on such a milestone birthday. Actually, neither of my parents did, but is what it is.

15). I came across a blog today that made me realize that things in my life that I want to complain about (like #14) aren't so important. It may be a hard read for some, but it is definitely a lesson in never taking any of your loved ones for granted.

16). I can't stand "urban" commercials where "mainstream" companies try to appeal to an ethnic customer base by supposedly emulating what they think they want to see. They have black folk in there saying stuff like "You go girlfriend" all forced-like. Hate it. LOL

17). That being said...I friggin LOVE this commercial. ROFLOL!!!!!

It's totally genius and whoever came up with this marketing campaign needs a raise, lol.

18). Has anyone seen the preview for the new season of Project Runway? It seems a little "Dexter opening sequence" to me. And I LOVE Dexter, so I thought the preview was cool.

19). I need an interior designer. I have so many thoughts for how I want to decorate the condo and they are all blurring together. Blech. HGTV tends to do that to you. I LOVE Designed to Sell.

20). I like how my last few randoms were pretty much about tv, lol.

21). I really want some guacamole, but since it's well after 11pm, I should fall back. Sometimes I wish the kitchen (or at least the fridge and cupboards) came with one of those little invisible fences that you use to train dogs. If I got too close at the wrong time of day, it would just issue me a little electronic shock. Yeah...

22). Why do some FBers befriend celebrities, only to antagonize them at every turn? Like, why would you become a "fan" of something/someone you hold so much disdain for? Sometimes I see these people's posts and want to just yell/type GET A LIFE!!! Do you know how much energy it takes to follow someone around on the 'net telling them how much they suck? Especially when 10 times out of 9, the fan page for the celebrity or object probably is manned by some computer geek in pajamas sipping on a latte. *rolls eyes*

23). I think I want to take some culinary classes. I love watching Top Chef, Next Food Network Star and other cooking shows and it just makes me want to take my game to another level. I think I'm a pretty good cook, but I want the knowledge behind preparing the food that I eat.

24). I'm starting to think I should have just stuck to a 1-10 list, lol.

25). I have a minor crush on Clive Owen. Okay, it's a major crush, but there is just something about him.

26). My staycation is coming to an end. I can't believe it's almost Friday (it will be by the time this is posted). Funny how the week never flies by this quickly when I am at work.

27). Methinks I'm going to hit the pool tomorrow after my morning errands.

28). I'm having a gtg at my place this Saturday in celebration of my birthday. Honestly, it's not a birthday party, just a get together. We used to try to gather every month, but it's quickly becoming every few months now. At any rate, I love my friends and I can't wait!! Cupcakes and Cocktails...

29). I kind of wish I didn't have to go back to work. The first few days of vacation were a little boring. I felt like I should have been doing something more. One of my employees called me and gave his resignation, so I felt like I should be in the office to run point, but at some point on Wednesday, I just said "Eff it, I'm on vacation".

30) "Eff it, we on vacation" was our theme saying for the family cruise in 2007. The comedian (who did a family show, then an adults only show at midnight) came up with it during his act and we just ran with it. He was like "yeah, you and your wife will be in line at breakfast and a bartender will come by with some drinks of the day and you will say to your spouse "I shouldn't drink, it's 9 o'clock in the morning" then you pause and look at each other and say...UFCK IT, we on vacation!!!" LOL So everytime we would think of doing something out of the ordinary, we would say that. "just left the club at 3am and ya'll are going to eat pizza and ice cream? We have to get up by 6am to make our excursions but...oh hell, ufck it, we on vacation!" LOL

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Countdown to 30. Volume I

So since a certain someone who shall remain nameless (*coughLMWPcough*) told me that I better get to blogging, I figured I would make a post before the weekend. I'm about to be staycationing like a mug and I canNOT WAIT!!! I don't have anything planned until next Saturday (Girl's Night In) and I am truly going to enjoy my week off and get settled in the new condo.

At any rate, I have been wondering what I was going to write about since yesterday and since my creativity is kinda jacked right now, I figured I would just give ya'll one of my infamous lists. Anyone who knows me well knows how much I love lists. Something about writing a list just automatically makes you feel productive, even if you AREN'T being productive, lol. I can count 3 lists in my immediate line of vision right now. There is the menu list for next Saturday, the to-do list for my Grandmother's 75th birthday party in September and a condo wish/to-do list for the new spot. You like how none of these lists are work-related, right? I digress...

I make lists for the grocery store...and then leave them at home. I make lists before vacation of things I want to pack and outfits I want to wear. I friggin love lists!!! They make me happy.

Today, in honor of my upcoming 30th birthday (Monday, July 19th...and I'll send you my paypal addy if you want to send a monetary donation to beautify PJ's condo LMAO I'm just joking...unless you were gonna do it. :-/), I will give you all a list of 30 random things (in three parts) that are on my mind. (My love of random facts is secondary only to my love of lists.)

In no particular order:

1). I just came back from a Staples run and saw a man riding a motorbike (not a motorcycle...the kind with the ledge in the ledge in the middle for your feet) wearing a white, long-sleeved dress shirt and a red and gray sweater vest. For real? You gonna mess around and have a heat stroke playa!

2). Target now has groceries. *angelssinging* As if Target wasn't my favorite store before, they have expanded their food section? Now you KNOW that made this fat girl squeal with glee. The first time I went in there and saw produce I was like "Why would I ever have to shop elsewhere?" I love Tarzhay.

3). As if I was wonderful at keeping up with this blog, I've just started another one (no posts yet) which will entail my journey to being a Maid of Honor in my friend's wedding next May. I make no promises. With work and school and my side-biz...yeah...

4). I'm on a conference call and I swear one of my Supervisors sounds like Uncle Ruckus. It makes me cringe to hear him speak in mixed company.

5). People who walk, talk, move slow annoy me. One of the chicks in my office walks slow and mumbles. When I see her coming I immediately get annoyed. Like put some pep in your step. Why everytime you say something to me I have to say "huh? what's that? Sorry?" Speak up!!! It just seems lazy to me.

6). I have a chair in my office, and since my office has a door and an opening (my boss is SOOO smart *rolls eyes* people can just walk in, sit down and start talking to me. It annoys me when I'm busy (whether with work or writing personal lists) so I've started piling items in the chair to prohibit people from sitting to converse with me. Why do people move the stuff out of the chair sometimes? I know the look on my face is priceless.

7). Send me some nice bridesmaid dress options for a plus-sized chick. Puhlease!!!? :)

8). Do you get offended by flabby arms? What about cellulite and stretch marks? I remember when I used to be deathly afraid of baring my arms because of the size of them. And while I do still get my bolero and shrug on, I've realized's friggin' hot outside. If someone is offended by the sight of my flabby arms, they can remain offended. I'm not heatstrokin' for nobody. I'm sorry. There are certain outfits that I prefer to wear my arms covered with, but darnit, it's like my arms screamed GIVE US FREE like 2-3 years ago and I kinda stopped caring about what other people think. 10 times out of 9 they aren't even paying any attention to me and if they are, I'm sure that it's only a passing thought. So what?

9). There is a nice guy that I've been conversing with, but he does something that annoys the STEW out of me. He likes to "play" the "have you ever" game. You know where you are having a convo and he says "So, have you ever dated a guy that worked the hours that I do?" "Have you ever dated a guy that..." *sigh* Don't do that. I used to be one of those chicks who had a whole bunch of questions about the last chick you dated. "Have you ever dated a big girl?" "Have you ever dated someone that doesn't have her degree?" "Have you ever dated someone that you met online?" What I've come to realize and the reason why I don't get caught up in those types of convos is because I really don't give a f. I mean, so what if he did? Does that mean he's going to do it again? There are a lot of things I've done in the past that I won't do again. My past behavior in that respect doesn't indicate my future choices. Instead, I wish he would say things like "I would like it if we...", "How do you feel about the fact that I am...". To me, those are much more productive questions.

10). A heart convinced against it's will is of the same opinion still. Those "ties that bind" are a trip...

to be continued...

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Random Acts of Mediocrity, Volume 2

Dear Blondie,

Why is it that you ask me like once a month how to check your voicemail? You have been here for about...4 months now, shouldn't you know this by now? The last time you asked me, the convo went like this:

Me: Take at look at the Cheat Sheet I gave you when you started.
Blondie: *goes in office, then comes back to my office* What's my password?
Me: *blankstare* Umm...did you change it from the default?
Her: No, because nobody ever calls and leaves me a message
Me: Umm, ok. How do you know? Is the red light blinking on your phone?
Her: Yeah, but that's always on

*pause for PJ throwing a tantrum*

Today you ask me "Do you remember my password?"
Me: *sigh* No. Did you change it from the default?
Her: No.
Me: Then try 999, then your extension, then #
Her: What's my extension?

I nearly blew a gasket. I realize you don't ever call yourself. I realize that most people who call for you call your company cell phone or call the operator and get tranferred, but HOW IN THE HAYLE do you work somewhere for almost FOUR MONTHS and not know your extension?

OMG!!!!!! *faint* You can't even be serious! If you ask me ONE. MORE. TIME. about your dayum voicemail, voicemail password, extension, or anything else that I've ALREADY TOLD YOU, I'm writing you up. I ain't even joking. I'm FAserious.

Friday, June 18, 2010

Beanie Man

I "met" beanie man on my lunch break. Yup, not to be confused with Beenie "Girls Dem Sugar" Man, this was Beanie Man. As in the dude driving a car with beanie babies and other random stuffed animals lining this rear window, front dash and hanging from the rear view mirror.

As I made the left turn, he was in opposing traffing and proceeded to honk his horn and whistle out the window and scream "Ayy Ayyy Aye MAMA!!!" *blankstare* For real? That's what's hot in the streets? You hollering at women in your Grandmama's Corolla? I vote No. Try your holla once you take the Beanie Bucket back. SMH

Where dey do that at? Even if he was driving a "normal" car, what did he expect to come of that situation? Was I supposed to be so impressed by his whistling skills and be compelled to pull over and wait for him to bust a U-turn to come talk to me? For real? We are endangering our lives for a holla now? We are in MOVING traffic, all you're doing by honking and whistling at me, is distracting me. What if I scare easily? Good gracious, sometimes I wonder how Earth got so populated, some folks are just clueless.

You Sir, are an idiot.

Monday, May 31, 2010

Secret Single Behavior

So if you're an avid SATC fan, you will remember the episode where Carrie talked about Secret Single Behavior that every woman has that we become embarassed about when we invite someone else into our space. I had another example of it last night and of course my first inclination was to blog about it.

My home-dude (don't ask for any clarification on that, because it really is as complicated as it seems...4-5 years later) comes over periodically and raids my fridge. Well, I usually invite him over if I cook, but mostly, he trolls for snacks. Last night, he was here and I told him there was some guacamole in the fridge and he went in...then said something like "Babe, I think this guac is going bad" and I realized he'd grabbed the wrong bowl. I yelled from the other room "Don't eat it! That's the wrong bowl! That's henna...for my hair!" His response was "WTF?" He grabbed the right bowl and immediately started munching, but I cracked up inside thinking of how "wrong" that might have turned out. LOL

[sidebar] For those that don't know, here is a batch of freshly mixed henna


Anyway, that made me think about all of the things I do as a single woman that lives alone that wouldn't fly if I was living with a mate. I can't just leave random hair concoctions in the fridge with no explanation. Likewise, he might look at me crazy as I slop the "baby poo looking" stuff in my hair and wrap it with saran wrap and plastic bags, line my pillows with a beach towel and sleep in it. He might give me a colossal side-eye if I came to bed smelling like fish food (which in my opinion is what henna smells like, fish food on acid). He might think I was an incontinent, trifling heffa if I left the papertowel with said "poo" substance on the side of the sink after I'd wiped from around my forehead and ears and the towel with the "poo" stains on it on the top of the laundry basket.

What about when I want to clean my pores with Biore strips? Will he look at me odd if I walked around and cooked dinner with my nose covered in paper tape? Because you know that's all those strips are...paper tape. Would he think I'm still sexy?

What about if I wore my boxer shorts with the hugemongous hole in them? The hole that is so big, sometimes I mistakenly put my foot through it when I put them on. Would he think I was messy? What if I explained that they were just THE most comfortable pair of boxers I own? I would never wear them if I knew he was coming over, but occassionally, I get out of the shower with the express intent to put those shorts and a ratty t-shirt on.

What about the days when all I want for dinner is cereal. Then I eat the cereal and decide to have a glass of wine...does that make me weird?

Or what about when AF is lurking and I make 50 million trips to the kitchen in search of snacks. When I stand in front of the fridge and cabinet knowing full-well everything that's in there because I bought it, but I still stand there, expecting for some wonderful combination of goodies to jump out at me and say "EAT ME PEEJAY!"

What about those days and weeks where I just don't feel like being bothered with TV and I just listen to music for days on end. When I sing to my heart's content and cry for no reason because the songs "moved me" and repeat the same song 10 times.

What about when I bring a folder chair into the bathroom as I do my facial cleansing, just so I can look in the mirror and sing to myself and tell myself how beautiful I am. Would he tell me to shut up and turn on the tv?

What about when I turn on the A/C only to curl up on the couch under a blanket to watch a movie? Would he yell for me wasting electricity? I don't do it often, but sometimes, just makes me happy.

What becomes of all my secret, single behavior when I find "the one"?

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Footsteps in the dark...

So I've come to a conclusion. I'm not going to discuss any music anymore with anyone that I'm romantically involved with. Yeah...that's what I've decided. We can't listen to music together, don't take me to a concert, if we're in the car, let's listen to talk radio because music is like a sponge, that soaks up whatever memory you are experiencing and rings it out EVERY TIME you hear that song. At least that's how it is for me.

*long, dramatic sigh*

Of course I have a story about this, several actually...but I won't bore you with the details. I'll just say that listening to the Music Choice station today while I got some things done took me through a range of emotions from sadness to regret, from anger to joy, from lust to disgust, lol. It seemed as though every other song held some type of memory that gave me pause.

Why is it that music is the tie that binds the heart to the past, even when we think we've moved on? Why is it that just a beginning chord of a song can work those heart strings the way that it does? Have you ever had a situation where you had to catch yourself from getting caught up just because of the song you were listening to?

Speak on it...