Secret Single Behavior

So if you're an avid SATC fan, you will remember the episode where Carrie talked about Secret Single Behavior that every woman has that we become embarassed about when we invite someone else into our space. I had another example of it last night and of course my first inclination was to blog about it.

My home-dude (don't ask for any clarification on that, because it really is as complicated as it seems...4-5 years later) comes over periodically and raids my fridge. Well, I usually invite him over if I cook, but mostly, he trolls for snacks. Last night, he was here and I told him there was some guacamole in the fridge and he went in...then said something like "Babe, I think this guac is going bad" and I realized he'd grabbed the wrong bowl. I yelled from the other room "Don't eat it! That's the wrong bowl! That's henna...for my hair!" His response was "WTF?" He grabbed the right bowl and immediately started munching, but I cracked up inside thinking of how "wrong" that might have turned out. LOL

[sidebar] For those that don't know, here is a batch of freshly mixed henna



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Anyway, that made me think about all of the things I do as a single woman that lives alone that wouldn't fly if I was living with a mate. I can't just leave random hair concoctions in the fridge with no explanation. Likewise, he might look at me crazy as I slop the "baby poo looking" stuff in my hair and wrap it with saran wrap and plastic bags, line my pillows with a beach towel and sleep in it. He might give me a colossal side-eye if I came to bed smelling like fish food (which in my opinion is what henna smells like, fish food on acid). He might think I was an incontinent, trifling heffa if I left the papertowel with said "poo" substance on the side of the sink after I'd wiped from around my forehead and ears and the towel with the "poo" stains on it on the top of the laundry basket.

What about when I want to clean my pores with Biore strips? Will he look at me odd if I walked around and cooked dinner with my nose covered in paper tape? Because you know that's all those strips are...paper tape. Would he think I'm still sexy?

What about if I wore my boxer shorts with the hugemongous hole in them? The hole that is so big, sometimes I mistakenly put my foot through it when I put them on. Would he think I was messy? What if I explained that they were just THE most comfortable pair of boxers I own? I would never wear them if I knew he was coming over, but occassionally, I get out of the shower with the express intent to put those shorts and a ratty t-shirt on.

What about the days when all I want for dinner is cereal. Then I eat the cereal and decide to have a glass of wine...does that make me weird?

Or what about when AF is lurking and I make 50 million trips to the kitchen in search of snacks. When I stand in front of the fridge and cabinet knowing full-well everything that's in there because I bought it, but I still stand there, expecting for some wonderful combination of goodies to jump out at me and say "EAT ME PEEJAY!"

What about those days and weeks where I just don't feel like being bothered with TV and I just listen to music for days on end. When I sing to my heart's content and cry for no reason because the songs "moved me" and repeat the same song 10 times.

What about when I bring a folder chair into the bathroom as I do my facial cleansing, just so I can look in the mirror and sing to myself and tell myself how beautiful I am. Would he tell me to shut up and turn on the tv?

What about when I turn on the A/C only to curl up on the couch under a blanket to watch a movie? Would he yell for me wasting electricity? I don't do it often, but sometimes, just sometimes...it makes me happy.



What becomes of all my secret, single behavior when I find "the one"?