So we're still experiencing the "Blizzard of 2010", as they've coined it on the news. I ventured out yesterday to go to the office to get some documents and do payroll and almost killed my car. Literally. One of my headlights was hanging out when I got where I was going. WTF? The roads are horrible. At any rate, since I was out in the mania, I wanted to share some of my BIGGEST driver pet peeves.
1. Clean off the top of your damn car. Yes, YOU. I don't really care if you drive a truck, I don't really care if you're short, and no...I don't care if you were in a rush. It all boils down to being lazy and selfish. So you want to endanger MY life because you are in a hurry and didn't get up on time? You want to hamper MY ability to see because you didn't invest in a step-ladder but drive a Hummer? So I need to be subjected to big blocks of ice and snow hitting my windshield or hurling towards me at 65 miles per hour (since I never, EVER go over the posted speed limit *halo*)? I cry bullisht. I wish they would ticket these selfish bamas when they see them. UGHH, nothing infuriates me more.
2. Why do you sit with your blinker on and wait 20 minutes for a parking space? I parked further away yes, but I'm already in the store with a buggy and you're still sitting there with your blinker on. You suck.
3. Ever want to know exactly how long a split-second is? It's the time between the light turning green and the person behind you honking. You impatient so-n-so. Can I get MY foot off the brake? Can I look both ways first? Do you see the pedestrian walking in front of my car? WTH are you honking at me? Do you realize that makes me want to put my car in park and sit there...just to annoy you? Ugh.
4. I really like when you bob and weave and speed off into traffic and then we end up at the same traffic light. That smile that I give you, you aren't quite sure what it means, lemme explain it. That's my "You are such an idiot, good luck with your gas consumption" smile. Why are you gunning it in the city anyway? You've never heard of "stop and go" traffic? That means you're not on the highway genius. Get it together.
5. I'm not an aggressive driver, but what I CAN'T stand is a bully. I don't care if you ride out the merge lane, if there are no cars behind me and I think you're trying to muscle your way in front of me...10 times out of 9 I won't let you in. Sue me. It gives me pleasure. *shrug* You should have merged like the rest of us. Your dumb@ss would rather ride the shoulder and MAKE somebody let you over? Good luck with that.
6. Don't block the box. I was stopped at a light close to a fire station and I was the last car in front of the "box". Some jerk decided to pull up into the box and then honk so that we would all inch up close to each other so they wouldn't be in the box. Are you serious? No. I'm not moving. Unless a fire siren goes off, you're going to sit there. And I'm going to pray for a cop to come by and ticket you. You dork. So because YOU pulled up farther than you should have, you want me to tailgate the car in front of me? No.
7. Why don't you pull up to the first pump at the gas station? Do you think you're the only person in the universe that needs to get gas? So now I gotta do all kinds of 3-point turns and parallel parking and crap just to maneuver into an open pump because YOU are inconsiderate. You are probably the same person who is...
8. Smoking at the pump. *sigh* Just because you have a death wish and don't think life is worth living, why do you feel the need to endanger us all? You have a lit cigarette and are talking on the phone while pumping your gas at the second pump. I wish I could legally mollywop you.
9. You can't park. Those little white or yellow lines in the parking lot are not for decoration. They aren't suggested guidelines. If one or more of your wheels are on/over the lines...you need to pull out and start over. I'm a big girl, I don't want to have to do the snake to get into my car because you parked too close to me. Thanks.
10. If you're so close to me that I look in my rearview and can't see what kind of car you're driving...back the truck up!!!!
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