What ever happened to the "Good Girl"? Where has she gone?*

*Not my words.

So yesterday a friend of mine posted this as his FB status message. At first read, I felt a little indignant because this is someone that I love and actually dated for a bit, so I'm like "Huh? What is he trying to say?" I felt like it was a dismissal of me and any other good "girl" in his life. I felt invisible. So I and several of his other friends exchanged a little witty banter about the subject, but it all boils down to the fact that sometimes, in life, the good "girl" or "boy" is looked over.

Outside of the movies, the good girl might not have the perfect body or perfect hair and makeup or a flashy wardrobe. The good girl might not always come from the best family and volunteer on her off-days or be a member of an elite sorority. She might not come with recommendations and at first glance, maybe your homeboys might not be racing you down to "holla". The good guy might not always have the chiseled abs and perfect teeth and fat bank account. He may not drive a flashy car or have the latest gadgets or threads and he might not necessarily be a heart-throb. Does that mean they don't exist?

The issue is that for a lot of men (and women), we don't recognize the "good" in people until we are ready to settle down and make a lifelong commitment. When we're ready to do that, all of a sudden, her hair and makeup isn't so important. Then you decide that her ability to keep a nice home and be a good mother is what comes into play. When they decide they want a wife, it doesn't much matter than the "boys" aren't necessarily checking for her, in actuality, you would prefer that they didn't look at her in that way. When you're dating and having fun, you want a freak. But when you're all freaked out and want love...you look for the good girl, but then you realize your perception is all skewed. Then you need to sit back and re-evaluate what is important to you. This is not just for men, women...even ME (yes me, lol) are guilty of this.

There is no shortage of good women and men out there, the question is whether or not you're even checking for them. The qualities that are important to you change as you grow older and wiser and as your experiences change. So I think the question is shouldn't be, "what happened to the good girls/good guys?" But more..."Am I ready for her/him" and if I am, what am I doing to attract them?